Whos playing

whos playing?
Im in my bathroom drying off just thinking about how good you taste every time we get together. The last few times we spoke you were acting a little strange but I figure its things going on in your life so I am not going to ruin this evening with asking a bunch of questions. I gotta make sure i don't seem all thirsty when you come over so my gear has to be mad relaxed. Towel around my waist I'm in my closet looking for something to put on when I see my grey box at the top of the closet. Oh shit i ain't strapped her in a while she gonna love that. Dropping my towel I step into the strap making sure my harness is fitting just right cant have my shit slipping off. closing the closet door Im just gonna through on some basketball shorts and a beater have her feeling like she with a real nigga today. I happened to walk past my body mirror and thought "Yo if I was a dude I would be sexy as fuck my dick would be big too" pulling out my carolina blue basketball shorts and my fresh white beater I throw a splash of Ed Hardy for men not too much don't want to over do it. Chilling in my big boy chair flipping through seeing the Stealers playing today I hear a knock at the door. I push my dyck between my legs so its not the first thing she sees. Opening the door..."Damn Que what the fuck you doing here?" ....She says "nice to see you too nigga move the game on and my cable off, can you believe they cut my shit off BEFORE the damn game" I grin cause Que always stay fresh in her gear but that dude hate paying a damn bill. I know Alexus usually late so Im gonna give Que a few mins of my time before I put her ass out. Sitting back in my big boy chair with my feet up on my ottoman. I feel Que looking at me..."what fool?" she cracking up laughing...she said "Damn dude ya dyck all hard and shit you waiting on Alexus?" Que aint got no shame she got jokes for days . "Yeah man I finn a put that ass down whenever she get here with her slow ass" I keep looking at the time and its getting late and not even a text from her. Watching Que in my kitchen like she at home I am getting sleepy. Dozing off Que start bumping Diced Pinapples by Rick Ross and she looks at me "Nigga this my shit, dude said I wanna see how deep you are and I aint talking about no intimate conversation....whew that boy wild this song got me feeling some kinda way: Now I am not sure what kinda way Que talking about hell she so damn manly I wonder if she even got a pussy. I laugh to myself at the thought of what her pussy looks like. she watches me laugh and asked whats so funny. "Yo Que do you even have a pussy cause I could have sworn I see ya ass standing up pissing at the park. "Bitch yea I just know how to do that shit don't be jealous, fuck outta here Imma show you I got a pussy hell I aint shame my shit shaved and pretty as hell. She walks over to me and pulls down her sweats just a little and opens the hole in her boxers and peeking through is a clean shaven pretty pussy i inhale deep to see if I can smell her and her pussy scent travels through my nose and for that moment I forget she my nigga and all I want to do is put my tounge on her clit. I didn't realize how long I was starring cause I looked up she looked at me shocked. I felt weird like damn she gonna think Im gay as hell for looking at her pussy for so long. She still standing here with her pussy exposed then she hits repeat on the system and says "You wanna fuck me don't you?" I aint even know how to answer that shit cause Que my brother and shit and she also would joke on me if I told her it crossed my mind just now. I couldn't say shit next thing I know she says "Yo imma do this shit but my word nigga don't be trying to bitch me out or no shit' I couldn't say shit I just knew i wanted to be inside of her she wasn't Que to me right now she was Qanisha this pretty ass brown skin short chick. She pulled down her sweats and boxers I kept staring at her pussy just wanting to suck all the cum out of her...as I put my face near her while she standing in front of me she says "Nah nigga we aint getting all intimate and shit you want it you gotta fuck it" I was shocked as hell but I pulled my dick out and leaned back. She straddled me and slowly slid down on it while holding the shaft of my dick making sure it went in straight. She grinded back and forth, Im arching my back going with her flow. Not looking at her face just watching her pussy go up and down, seeing my dick get wetter and wetter every time she raises up my pussy getting wet as hell. she raises up and turns around tells me to grab her ass while she riding me backwards. Damn this shit is feeling good I want to fuck her but I remember she said don't bitch her out but fuck that she riding my dick. i hold on to her ass and start pushing my dick in hard ever time she comes down on my dick she holding onto my legs while she riding me and puts her hands between my thighs, this shit is feeling good as hell watching her tight ass cheeks bounce when she comes down before I know it she slid three fingers inside me and I start fucking her like crazy forgetting everything she said and just wanted to cum inside her hell im trying to get her pregnant im fucking her so hard. I hear her moan "Ah shit Neeve you about to make a nigga cum hard as hell don't stop" Shit I didn't plan on stopping she riding me hard as hell while Im fucking her I feel my pussy throbbing my body starts shaking, her legs start shaking "Oh shit Que, damn Que im fucking cumin" she looks back at me "Come bitch cause im cumin too damn bitch don't stop. I let her ass go, she raises up puts her sweats on, I pull my shorts back on. she sits on the couch looking at the tv, stopped the music from playing and says "Damn Neeve who's winning?" .

Make sure you do it right (revised)

I told you if you’re gonna do it, do it right...and hung up. You came to my house dressed like you were going to the club looking fly as hell white button up shirt, black sports bra, levi tight fitting jeans white Nike's, smelling like a mix of cool water and joop. I smiled at you as I closed the door behind you. Feeling so under dressed because you’re fully dressed and I have on a white tshirt and some black boy short but whatever. I asked you if you want something to drink and you said no, I thought that was kinda rude due to your tone and your lack of conversation but whatever. I went ahead and sat down on the couch while you’re still standing there as if you either are about to leave or just simply don’t want to be here. I am looking around the room wondering what’s wrong with you but not wanting to ask. You walk over to the couch where I am sitting, I am about to slide over and let you sit down yet you say "I only have an hour, she is expecting me to come home soon" I smirk and take you to my room. I am watching you take your clothes off because if I do it I might leave my scent on your clothes and I know she will be checking you when you come home. You only leave on your black sports bra and your black and grey boxers. You lay on top of me and start kissing me and grinding against me. You’re grinding so hard I feel like I am about to cum already. My moans turn into groans my body starts to shake lightly under you then you look me in my eyes and say "No Neeve...not yet" you already know how excited i can get when your next to me......so I breathe deeply and wait trying to pace myself not wanting to disappoint you. I still have my tshirt and panties on so i am dying for you to take them off yet you keep grinding on me. I said to you" if you have such a short time here...why are you waisting it?" You take your hand and put it over my mouth pressing your hand hard against my lips, I can feel my tooth cut into my bottom lip and I can taste the blood, focused on the pain I just realized youre sliding my panties to the side and put you push your dyck inside me. I arched my back and let out a painful moan because I was wet but not relaxed enough for you to be inside me. You are stroking me deep, long, and hard. I am feeling so good yet when you keep pushing it all the way in its hurting so damn bad. I am doing my best to back up closer to the headboard but your holding my hips, you take my legs and put them on your shoulders and start going in and out fast and hard. I am pushing you back but you wont back up so I grit my teeth and try to take the pain the best way i can. The pain is so serious I feel like your inside my stomach, I even reach for your harness hoping to unbuckle you yet you push my hands back and go deep inside and keep it there for what seems like minutes. You stop....put my legs down...then ask me if you can do to me...what she wont let you. Because I know I have to be all I can be for you, I say yes. You turn me over so i am on my knees. I was up on my hands but you lay my upper body down and keep my ass up in the air. Now I have a min to think, you have done this before so what could you possibly be about to do that she wouldn't let you..........then I feel the head of ya dyck near my ass. I am not into anal because I just never could imagine why I would want to do something like that. You tell me to relax, yet that's the last thing I can do and you know it. You try putting yourself inside me but I am bitting the pillow trying to take as much as I can without telling you to stop......I cant take anymore so I say stop. Now I feel like you didn't hear me because you are still trying to push yourself in, I reach behind me and push you back and you back up and then put your dyck in my pussy....you are diggin me deep and hard and I am loving it.....I am backing it up on you hard and about to cum....as I am about to cum you take it out and push it into my ass, the head goes in fast and you spread my ass cheeks more so I can take all of you i start to quiver and cry....screaming out in passion and you start to cum with me. You pull out...get washed up. Kiss me and say "Thank you......" I wink and say "anytime baby....say goodnight to ya wife for me" You wink and leave.

Watching HGTV

Had a horrible day at work today looking for some kind of outlet some type of relaxation. Thinking about what I wish I was doing but faced with the reality of whats happening in my life now. Picking up the kids from school thinking about what I am going to make for dinner, wondering who has the most homework that they need help with and all along just want to release so much stress and cant find  a way. I wonder what other single mothers of 4 do when they are feeling stressed out but see I don’t know any so I look to myself. The night is getting worse because not only do I deal with the everyday stress of life I am also fighting each and everyday with someone, we cant see eye to eye, nothing good is coming out of a situation and I cant see it getting any better. I just want to shower and lay down in front of the tv and watch HGTV to fantasize about my new home that I plan on buying one day. While watching I start to fade off to sleep……I wake myself up and decide I don’t want to be home anymore, get out and go to her house. She is always open to me so I know she wont have a problem with me being there…the night starts off with talking and laughing then the uncomfortable silence. See we both know what we want to do but maybe too scared to make a move, not knowing what eachother is thinking. I lay down in her bed, getting under the covers feeling so tired from the day and just from life her lips touch mine and my body goes into shock and it feels amazing. Her hands start to go down my body and I feel like I want to stop her but cant, I want to say no but cant because saying no means what exactly? I allow her to explore me in whatever way she wants, allow her to take my mind off of all the stress from today and every day I have felt horrible. Her fingers touch me and make my body shiver with fear and excitement this is what I have needed for so long maybe I just didn't realize it. I allow her to put her tounge inside my mouth showing me what she could possibly do to my clit but just enjoying how she is making me feel trying not to push things too far when all I want is to feel her grind against me, make me feel whole again yet I don't show her signs of what I am thinking she starts sucking in my nipples long and hard and rubbing my budy but not going too fast or too slow just perfect and I'm loving every minute of it moaning slowly doing my best not to call her name still feeling a sense of pride that I can't go that far, she is sliding my pants off and so much of me wants to tell her its too soon we shouldn't do this right now but I can't I'm so turned on by her I can't control myself. Her head is between my legs I feel like I'm shaking and she doesn't give me time to raise up on the bed so her lips can't touch my lips she goes directly for my clit from the first lick I was amazed at how warm her tounge is how good this feels and she starts licking me and sucking me and grinding her lips against my clit and I began to moan harder and louder and she starts licking harder gliding her tounge all over my clit all around it now I'm getting wetter and she is sucking and licking I begin to cum within minutes and it feels so good I have never felt like this can't believe she is taking me here right now I'm loving it and she stops....then she starts again this time even harder fucking me with her tounge so deep she is inside me in and out and I'm grinding on her face as she is fucking me she pushes her body so her face can be deeper inside me and I start to cum harder, my legs start to shake my body start to jerk I say her name over and over again...she comes up lays beside me I whisper in her ear.." I love you" and the night continues just as it started...then...I woke up to find myself alone, in the living room...still watching HGTV

The new woman in my life

I have seen you a few times but did my best not to pay attention.
I knew it was something about you I wanted to stay away from. I just caught too good of a glimpse of you one day and you had me gone from that moment. See I never saw something so intriguing before something so mind blowing. Maybe I have seen it and just never paid attention but some how on this day I couldn't turn away. I knew I was taking a chance by even speaking to you and allowing my words to mix with yours but I figured hey just another sexy type Im gonna be able to run up on. I built myself up just saying "Yea you know how Neeve do" so I wasn't even concerned when we starting mixing words on a regular basis. See you know the real me, who I am now and who I was then and that didnt scare me. I spent hours thinking about you wondering what you would be wearing today, what our convos would be like this time. I played with the idea of actually spending time with you and doing more with you then just playing. See I have played with you for years you just didnt know, I went into places with you spent time with you made love to you, just never actually allowed you to become one with me. They say I have a wall up and wont let you have all of me, its so easy for people to say just let you in but see I am not built the same way most women are. I would rather run from you, fight you, kill even the thought of you instead of allowing you inside me in more ways than one. Seeing you now has amazed me how sexy you are to me now. Maybe I have spent too many years running from you, maybe it just wasnt the right time but now I am stuck thinking about you, wanting you, craving you every day wondering what its like to spend the rest of my life with you. when I wake up in the morning I desire you so much I can feel you near me, holding me, sexing me, inside me being a part of my life. There are times when I can think like the old me, laugh things off but then you come back in my mind harder than you were yesterday. Every moment spent with you just makes it harder and harder to even considering leaving you alone. I no longer want you, now i need you and its not just because its new for me its because you have been what I have needed all my life. Now I ask you...can you and I ...finally make it life today....can we make it permanent cause see I havent been looking for you, I have wondered about you though just didnt quite know how to approach you, or how to accept you inside my life. Now I am ready for all you have to offer and from what I can see you have a lot to give me, but see unlike before I am willing to give everything I have for you and only you. Is it too soon you ask.... no see I been missing you forever so why would I run now? I'm not I will wait until the day we come together as one for life. I am ready to marry you now, commit to you, life with you.....I am happy NOW that I met you.

This letter is to you.....the new woman in my life's name is ...LOVE...see her and I are meant to be and nothing and I truly mean nothing will come between us.

my heart bleeds

Random spurts of anger have controled my day, with each passing moment is just another minute of pain, another second of unhappiness, another hour of rage.
I look towards tomorrow in hopes of a better outcome, i look toward tomorrow for a better day, a better hour, a better minute, just one second.
My days are consumed with terror in my thoughts, when I try to control them it surrounds me.
I allow my heart beat to put me to sleep, as I begin counting they are coming fast and faster. The average beats per min for my age is 95 yet mine are at 278 and when I feel them coming to fast I stop breathing for 2 mins and they slow down to 22.....
Am I slowly killing myself, instead of taking the easy painful way out, I will do it the long and more un-noticed way.
Today is another day in the books of lows nothing went right, nothing felt right, no one acted right. Everyone in my path has pissed me off today in some way shape or form. I want nothing to do with no one.... I want some to disappear into the darkness. I want to be alone, I don't want to be here when you want me, I dont want to be here when you need me, I dont want to be here at all.
I am blessed to be here, I need to pray harder, seek help from those I havent reached out to, get understanding and compasion for myself, stop allowing people to take advantage of my kindness and of my pain. I am not happy but tomorrow...I will be...right???

Do to me, what she won't

I decided to bring this one back...here goes

I told you if youre gonna do it, do it right...and hung up. You came to my house dressed like you were going to the club looking fly as hell. I smiled as I closed the door behind you because youre fully dressed and I have on a tshirt but whatever. I ask you if you want something to drink and you said no, I thought that was kinda rude but whatever. I sit down on the couch and your still standing. I am looking around the room wondering whats wrong with you. You come over to me and say "I only have a few hours, she is expecting me to come home soon" I smirk and take you to my room. I am watching you take your clothes off because if I do it I might leave my scent and I know she will be checking you when you come home. You only leave on your sports bra and boxers. You lay on top of me and start kissing me and grinding against me. Your grinding so hard I feel like I am about to cum already. You look me in my eyes and say "No Neeve...not yet" you already know how excited i can get when your next to me......so I breathe deeply and wait. I still have my tshirt and panties on so i am dying for you to take them off yet you keep grinding on me. I said to you" if you have such a short time here...why are you waisting it?" You take your hand and put it over my mouth, then slide my panties to the side and put your dyck inside me. I arch my back and let out a painful moan. You are stroking me deep, long, and hard. I am feeling so good yet when you push it all the way in its hurting so damn bad. I am doing my best to back up but your holding my hips, you take my legs and put them on your shoulders and start going in and out fast and hard. I am pushing you back but you wont back up so I grit my teeth and try to take the pain the best way i can. You stop....put my legs down...then ask me if you can do to me...what she wont let you. Because I know I have to be all I can be for you, I say yes. You turn me over so i am on my knees. I was up on my hands but you lay my upper body down and keep my ass up in the air. Now I have a min to think, you have done this before so what could you possibly about to do that she wouldn't let you..........then I feel the head of ya dyck near my ass. I am not into anal because I just never could imagine why I would want to do something like that. You tell me to relax, yet that's the last thing I can do and you know it. You try putting yourself inside me but I am bitting the pillow trying to take as much as I can without telling you to stop......I cant take anymore so I say stop. Now I feel like you didn't hear me because you are still trying to push yourself in, I reach behind me and push you back and you back up and then put your dyck in my vagina....you are diggin me deep and hard and I am loving it.....I am backing it up on you hard and about to cum....as I am about to cum you take it out and put it in my ass and i start to quiver and cry....screaming out in passion and you start to cum with me. You pull out...get washed up. Kiss me and say "Thank you......" I wink and say "anytime baby....say goodnight to ya wife for me" You wink and leave.

With you??

Stepping into the room I am wondering whats on your mind and what you are expecting from me.
As I close the door behind me I see you watching to see if I locked the door or if it remains unlocked.
You stand up and I remain standing at the door because I am not sure if you are about to leave the room.
You walk towards me and I feel my heart begin to race just as your body heat connects with mine.
My eyes are locked on you and I forgot how truly scared I am of your presence.
I guess in some ways I am intimidated by your strength yet turned on because I know you wont hurt me.
You reach around me and I hold my breath kind of unsure of what your going to do.
You finished closing the door and lock it, then you sit down on the bed.
Im still standing at the door just watching you, feeling uncomfortable at how your looking at me
I am trying to remember all of our conversations and if you ever told me how I can tell when your mad.
At this time I do the only thing I know for a fact im good at.......
I come over to you,stand in front of you, and begin to get down on my knees.
I look up at you once more and your expression is the same as when I first walked in the room.
My mood begins to change from being excited to being unsure yet my confidence in my skills tell me even if you are mad I am sure your anger wont last long.
I push your shoulders back so you lay down yet you dont lay all the way back you remain on arched up slightly.
I unbotton your jeans and do my best to not look you in the face because it might cause me to hesitate and I need for you to feel how serious I am
You lift up and at this point I feel you holding back, so I smirk
As my face enters your warmth you grab the back of my head and push it down hard yet slow.
Now I have to figure out if you want to feel how strong my tounge is or should I be as gentle as possible.
With the strength of your grip on my ponytail I am figuring you want it hard and strong.
I start off slowly giving you head waiting for a reaction yet you do nothing.
something tells me your holding back waiting to see how much I have to give how much I have to offer.
I begin to put every skill I have to use, showing you all my tricks and tease you in the most evil way
You stop me and I am shocked and feeling like I just wasnt doing it for you
You stand me up and whisper in my ear....Let me show you how its done
My knees feel weak and my heart beats are faint as if I am on morphene
I sit on the bed and you grin at me and tell me to stand
I stand up, you slide my jeans down and began careesing me gently
My legs are shaking and my hands are sweating,
something inside me wants to tell you to stop
somthing feels wrong about whats happening between us
I wonder if you are feeling the same or if you are just going hard for what you want from me
I am asking myself so many questions about us and why we are here, asking if this is it for us
wondering if this is all you ever wanted from me and once its done if I will ever hear from you
all this thinking i am doing I didnt even realize you have taken my clothes off and layed me on the bed
you look me in my eyes and see that i am distracted yet you keep going as if you didnt notice
I am trying to get into it again but i cant seem to because my mind is so heavy.......
you turn me on my stomach and say "this is what you wanted....remember?:
Now I am truly feeling fucked up and strange and I want to tell you to stop but I am not even sure if you will
Will you keep going knowing i want to stop?
I hold on to the pillow above my head and pull my body upward and you push me back down hard
now Im scared as fuck but I say nothing..........you lay on top of me and say...I love you
we fall asleep in that position.....*smile*