Watching HGTV

Had a horrible day at work today looking for some kind of outlet some type of relaxation. Thinking about what I wish I was doing but faced with the reality of whats happening in my life now. Picking up the kids from school thinking about what I am going to make for dinner, wondering who has the most homework that they need help with and all along just want to release so much stress and cant find  a way. I wonder what other single mothers of 4 do when they are feeling stressed out but see I don’t know any so I look to myself. The night is getting worse because not only do I deal with the everyday stress of life I am also fighting each and everyday with someone, we cant see eye to eye, nothing good is coming out of a situation and I cant see it getting any better. I just want to shower and lay down in front of the tv and watch HGTV to fantasize about my new home that I plan on buying one day. While watching I start to fade off to sleep……I wake myself up and decide I don’t want to be home anymore, get out and go to her house. She is always open to me so I know she wont have a problem with me being there…the night starts off with talking and laughing then the uncomfortable silence. See we both know what we want to do but maybe too scared to make a move, not knowing what eachother is thinking. I lay down in her bed, getting under the covers feeling so tired from the day and just from life her lips touch mine and my body goes into shock and it feels amazing. Her hands start to go down my body and I feel like I want to stop her but cant, I want to say no but cant because saying no means what exactly? I allow her to explore me in whatever way she wants, allow her to take my mind off of all the stress from today and every day I have felt horrible. Her fingers touch me and make my body shiver with fear and excitement this is what I have needed for so long maybe I just didn't realize it. I allow her to put her tounge inside my mouth showing me what she could possibly do to my clit but just enjoying how she is making me feel trying not to push things too far when all I want is to feel her grind against me, make me feel whole again yet I don't show her signs of what I am thinking she starts sucking in my nipples long and hard and rubbing my budy but not going too fast or too slow just perfect and I'm loving every minute of it moaning slowly doing my best not to call her name still feeling a sense of pride that I can't go that far, she is sliding my pants off and so much of me wants to tell her its too soon we shouldn't do this right now but I can't I'm so turned on by her I can't control myself. Her head is between my legs I feel like I'm shaking and she doesn't give me time to raise up on the bed so her lips can't touch my lips she goes directly for my clit from the first lick I was amazed at how warm her tounge is how good this feels and she starts licking me and sucking me and grinding her lips against my clit and I began to moan harder and louder and she starts licking harder gliding her tounge all over my clit all around it now I'm getting wetter and she is sucking and licking I begin to cum within minutes and it feels so good I have never felt like this can't believe she is taking me here right now I'm loving it and she stops....then she starts again this time even harder fucking me with her tounge so deep she is inside me in and out and I'm grinding on her face as she is fucking me she pushes her body so her face can be deeper inside me and I start to cum harder, my legs start to shake my body start to jerk I say her name over and over again...she comes up lays beside me I whisper in her ear.." I love you" and the night continues just as it started...then...I woke up to find myself alone, in the living room...still watching HGTV

The new woman in my life

I have seen you a few times but did my best not to pay attention.
I knew it was something about you I wanted to stay away from. I just caught too good of a glimpse of you one day and you had me gone from that moment. See I never saw something so intriguing before something so mind blowing. Maybe I have seen it and just never paid attention but some how on this day I couldn't turn away. I knew I was taking a chance by even speaking to you and allowing my words to mix with yours but I figured hey just another sexy type Im gonna be able to run up on. I built myself up just saying "Yea you know how Neeve do" so I wasn't even concerned when we starting mixing words on a regular basis. See you know the real me, who I am now and who I was then and that didnt scare me. I spent hours thinking about you wondering what you would be wearing today, what our convos would be like this time. I played with the idea of actually spending time with you and doing more with you then just playing. See I have played with you for years you just didnt know, I went into places with you spent time with you made love to you, just never actually allowed you to become one with me. They say I have a wall up and wont let you have all of me, its so easy for people to say just let you in but see I am not built the same way most women are. I would rather run from you, fight you, kill even the thought of you instead of allowing you inside me in more ways than one. Seeing you now has amazed me how sexy you are to me now. Maybe I have spent too many years running from you, maybe it just wasnt the right time but now I am stuck thinking about you, wanting you, craving you every day wondering what its like to spend the rest of my life with you. when I wake up in the morning I desire you so much I can feel you near me, holding me, sexing me, inside me being a part of my life. There are times when I can think like the old me, laugh things off but then you come back in my mind harder than you were yesterday. Every moment spent with you just makes it harder and harder to even considering leaving you alone. I no longer want you, now i need you and its not just because its new for me its because you have been what I have needed all my life. Now I ask you...can you and I ...finally make it life today....can we make it permanent cause see I havent been looking for you, I have wondered about you though just didnt quite know how to approach you, or how to accept you inside my life. Now I am ready for all you have to offer and from what I can see you have a lot to give me, but see unlike before I am willing to give everything I have for you and only you. Is it too soon you ask.... no see I been missing you forever so why would I run now? I'm not I will wait until the day we come together as one for life. I am ready to marry you now, commit to you, life with you.....I am happy NOW that I met you.

This letter is to you.....the new woman in my life's name is ...LOVE...see her and I are meant to be and nothing and I truly mean nothing will come between us.